Let’s be real, the only time I can run errands alone is late at night after Franky is asleep. Every now and then I say “Laila tov” (good night in Hebrew) to my son, eat dinner, and head out. That means I usually get to my destination of Target or some other store at around 8pm.
As I peruse the aisles, I can always hear the same noise. It doesn’t matter what day I go. It doesn’t matter if I am there at 7pm, 8pm, or 9pm.
Babies are crying.
Oh, Desere. So niave. Babies cry, it’s normal. I wrote a whole post about normalizing and being comfortable with crying and sad feelings.
True. Crying is ok.
But as caretaker our job is not only to be there for our child when they cry, it is to figure out why they are sad and if it is something controllable, avoid it. For example, hunger and tiredness are completely avoidable. We are not perfect, obviously, but we can do our best to get our kids fed and in bed. (#fedandinbed)
Therefore, this crying I keep hearing late at night is 100% avoidable. Do you want to know how? Ready…
BABIES HAVE A BED TIME!
It’s a simple tenet of parenthood.
Whether you adhere to putting them in bed at a certain time or not, babies have an internal clock. At a certain time, different for everyone, they will be ready to sleep. If they are not in bed at that time, they will cry. This is biology.
I get it, we all want to be this mom:
Hitting the town.
Stars twinkling.
Baby in stroller, probably asleep and cute as ever.
Looking good.
Feeling good.
Bonus points: heals and slim dress
But this just doesn’t happen. It doesn’t happen because babies have a bed time. And as hard as it is, we can’t always be selfish and go out late at night just because we want to. Especially not for the first two years. We gave that right up when we had our baby.
It is your prerogative to go out of course. To each their own.
But don’t give me those “Oh sorry I don’t know why she is crying” looks because it is so simple, your baby is tired.
I try to ignore it! I try to ignore it because unfortunately going out to run errands at night is sometimes the only alone time I get. It feels good to be out. It feels good to be alone. So I try to be happy and do my shopping. I pretend like I am a single gal shopping at 9pm like it’s a normal thing to do on a Tuesday night.
But I can’t ignore it. The mommy lens is permanent. I can’t take it off.
And that mommy lens is magnified with respectful parenting clip ons.
This means I see it all. I see the mom stuffing more and more snacks in her 18 month old’s hands so she will stop crying at 9:30 at night. I see the dad flipping the 8 month old boy in the air to get him to stop crying. I see the babies in their strollers, fighting the straps that are constraining their bodies from getting into a comfortable sleeping position. I see the bulging eyes because of the noise and the fluorescent lighting.
I also see the parents. I see the parents on their phones as their baby is crying. I see parents buying bikinis as their baby is crying. I see parents embarrassed that their baby is crying.
Don’t be embarrassed. Go home. This is not a parenting aha moment. Your baby is tired.
…
rant over