You’re so smart!
How many teachers and parents say this phrase throughout their lifetime?
But there is a fundamental flaw in telling kids they are so smart.
My mentor was a big advocate of eliminating status in his classroom. Learning from him, I too attempted to create a classroom that was respectful of all ideas, one that pushed kids with different abilities to contribute their ideas.
Here is the problem with continuously telling a kid “you are so smart”. When they face something incredibly challenging and find themselves stuck, what are they going to think?
‘I am always told how smart I am, if I can’t do this it must mean I’m dumb.’
This is because they have a fixed mindset.
If, for example, a kid was told their whole life they are such a hard worker, what happens then when that kid is facing a challenging task?
‘Hmm, I must not be working hard enough.’
This is known as a growth mindset.
Tag jo boawler blogs and books
Tag article from facebook
…Yet
Good Job
When I wrote about finding RIE and the first time I let my son struggle, I described the situation when Franky kept trying to get to a ring that got stuck under his changing table. When he finally managed to get it free, I didn’t say “good job!” And here’s why
In class story about G getting leg stuck
kid stuck one leg on ramp one in sandbox, unstuck, mom said good job
just say what you observe
imply stuck is bad?
and job,… this isnt job its play
Do you always need to cmoment?
No.
Only if kid looks at you
So while kid is playing.. You dont need to narrate every second every play by play
But when they look at you.. Thats when you can narrate. Thats where the organic language development comes in
“Watch baby thoroughly entertaining herself just by moving and learning her body. If she engages you or makes eye contact, be sure to verbally reflect what you see, i.e., “I saw that. You rolled to your back!” This is playing “with” a baby and connecting with her on her terms. 🙂
