Once a week I go the library for baby story time with my son. This event takes place when the library is closed to the public, so only parents with babies are there. We sit on the carpet and the librarian reads 2 to 3 stories. We usually have the babies in our lap or they are laying or sitting on the floor near us. Other than the books, the librarian usually leads several songs that involve both baby and parent.

Some of the songs are the same week to week, others vary. Sometimes we sing about an elevator going up and down, and simultaneously we raise our babies up in the air and lower them back down. Sometimes we sing where is baby, and use a small piece of material to play peek a boo with our little one.

Often if a song involves a manipulative, the librarian will pass it out to each parent before sitting in front to lead the song. This week, she planned a “shake, shake, shake” song and therefore passed out rattles to everyone. I watched as moms received a rattle, placed it in their child’s hands, and shook them showing their baby what the maraca does. Moms with younger babies who were not sitting, would shake the rattle in front of their baby over and over.

Any other time in my life, I would not think twice about this scene. But since beginning to practice RIE, I didn’t feel right about taking the rattle and holding it in my son’s hands to shake along to the music. I didn’t feel right about showing him what the rattle does in general. Instead, I placed the maraca down on the floor near Franky, and waited.

The song began and I looked around at all the moms shaking their babies hands, singing proudly to the music. Some of the moms looked at me and I’ll be honest, I felt like I was being weird for not doing what everyone else was doing. At some point even the librarian looked over and her eyes seemed to ask why my son wasn’t participating. I muttered something like “oh he likes to do his own thing.” But I definitely began feeling awkward.

Was I in the wrong? Was waiting to let my son pick up the rattle out of his own interest and figure out what it does, not the way to go about this? It’s not like Franky wasn’t enjoying himself. He was sitting and clapping, smiling up at everyone. He was obviously enjoying the music and the environment.

I decided to stick to my gut. I was NOT going to pick the toy up.

The song seemed to be almost over, and then it happened. Frank picked up the rattle and tasted it. This is how he usually first explores a new object.

Then he moved it and realized it made noise! He looked up at me with so much excitement, swinging the rattle backwards and forwards. The song was over, but he was just getting started. I looked around as the music faded away and all the babies instantly dropped their rattles, probably because they never wanted it in their hands to begin with. My son sat there and swung that rattle, making beautiful music for several more minutes. 

This was his aha moment.

So what did I learn from this incident? I could give my son toys, show him how they work, and play with him in this manner all day long. But his interest will be superficial, because I am the one giving him the toy. Whereas if I step back, something more amazing may happen.

It may take longer for my child to gain interest in something, but when that is motivated from within, the interest is more genuine and lasting.